Loving Life (sometimes through gritted teeth)

It's a rainy day here in Ma'ili! Aloha. Whatever went on today, or is going on, take a deep breath. It will help.

I had such a hectic morning with Rhyen this morning. From getting her out of bed, to remembering it was picture day as we walked out the front door (and having to run back upstairs to grab a 'dressy' shirt and hair accessory), and to standing at the bus stop realizing she lost her bus pass (now when I say lost I mean REMOVING the laminated plastic that was securely attached to her back pack). All the while Mobley is running around, getting as close to the edge of the curb as he can. Aaaaaahhhh!! These are the mornings when I think, "No wonder I thought my mother was a crazy person." I tend to beat myself up (after the fact of course) when I snap at the kids, especially when it happens before school. I remember when my mom used to be in a bad mood before school, and it just made me feel so yuck. I hugged Rhyen before she got on the bus and explained to the bus driver that we will have to get a new one. All good right? It really wasn't that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things. I mean, really Jen? She is picture-ready (I am so glad I remembered even if it was last minute). As far as the bus pass, get a new one; lesson learned. But I was so frustrated with the situation, I steamed the whole walk home and through my first cup of coffee. I still don't know why. Maybe I was just tired... I hadn't had my coffee or eaten anything yet. Or maybe it is just plain hard to call yourself back from those emotionally taxing moments...

So I took a deep breath. I was gentle with myself, rather than overly critical. This is life. This is the stuff that you laugh about later (I hope the kids will laugh too, hahaha). Love life. Period. The good, the bad, and the emotionally taxing!

We all go through crud. Take a deep breath. It will distance you from the seriousness we tend to attach to a situation.

Love your life.

Change happens for the good. Always.

Rhyen is riding the bus! Wowser. If you asked me a year ago if Rhyen would be one, in Kindergarten and two, riding the bus, I would have said, "no way." Life has a way of changing our plans...

Russell was provided a rental car for the first 6 months he worked here, and we recently had to return it. Rhyen now has to ride the bus (about a 6 min bus ride) to school. She rides with two of the girls on our street. I am so proud of her. She impresses me every day. She is awesome!

Now, let's talk about the initial mother's guilt. Hahaha. I am a stay at home mom. I love it. Part of that has involved taking and picking Rhyen up from school. I genuinely enjoy doing so, and I will miss it. I'll miss kissing her goodbye and watching her walk into her class. I will miss chatting with the other parents and teachers. I find my (what I like to call) ego making stories up about the situation. "I'm not being there for her," "I'll miss out," "She will feel lonely," "It's scary," "I'm not being a good mother." Now I know that many kids ride the bus, I just never thought Rhyen would. But This is what is happening. SO instead of believing these ridiculous guilt tactics, I am going to choose what IS.

For my fabulous five-year-old this is a terrific opportunity to gain independence. An aid will walk Rhyen from class to the bus until she gets the hang of it, but she knows she needs to get to the bus in order get home. I think it will be a growing opportunity for Rhyen to problem solve, as well as a responsibility builder. She is capable. She is smart. The wonderfulness for me; I get to go back to basics. When I have the truck I am constantly running errands. Kapolei is about 20-25 minutes from us and I can spend a whole day cruising from store to store (Target, Costco, Safeway, Ross, Goodwill). I am excited to save some money, hahaha (or maybe I'll just shop online). I am so incredibly excited to get creative, and get moving. Walking to the beach is at the top of the list. My amazing neighbors let me borrow a bike with a baby seat on it. YES! Mobley-man and I will be cruisin'! I am excited for the change. I am excited to in-joy my surroundings. I am excited to cook more. I am excited to clean (a little) more. Back to basics. To live simply. To live well.

I know at some point we will pick up another car. I am looking on craigslist for an inexpensive, reliable car. There are also some guys at Russell's company that may be leaving the island soon and want to sell their vehicles. We are keeping our eyes and ears open for sure. Still focusing on what is; we are grateful for whatever is in store. This, or something better.....

Thank you. And today I challenge us all to put aside whatever stories we make up about a situation, focus on what IS, and find our something wonderful. Good luck!

Aloha nui loa,

Jennifer

Yup. It's me. I'm back.

Im comin' back to blogspot....

I am sad that apple is doing away with iWeb this summer. I really love the program. I love all things Apple, really. But bummed they aren't keeping iWeb around.

Something wonderful comes from everything though. And I am stoked to be back where most bloggers seem to be. Blogspot is the happenin' place!

I decided to switch back now since I haven't blogged in while. Might as well start of fresh with the change. Here are past iWeb posts.

Now let's get to blogging!! Yes! haha. Xoxoxo